"Why bother with a constant and/or cohesive self in the first place..?"So why do we bother..? Both in fiction and reality we seem to set much store by rigidly behaving today just as we behaved yesterday. We have our pride and our principles and sometimes we adher to them even to the point of derision or death. It would seem mal-adaptive to have an intrinsic mechanism that drives us to become 'one' person, when a chameleon might prosper better. And yet such a trait seems pan-human.
What worth is being only one certain individual to the individual concerned..?
None at all that I can think of.
Then I remembered my friend, and die-hard drinking-buddy, who suddenly stopped drinking and went tee-total. And about how we aren't all that good friends anymore. And about another friend, who suddenly caught a very bad case of christianity, and about how we went from bosom buddies to erm, not-so bosom buddies almost overnight.
I think we grit our teeth and preserve a coherent and damn near constant self, not through any aesthetic drive to self-expression, nor even from some abstract existential drive to 'authenticity'.
I think we instinctively maintain our particular brand of 'selfhood' simply to preserve social trust. To make sure that the people with whom we deal on a day to day basis know we are X and not Y, A but not B, and therefore safely predictable enough for them to not fear what 'me' tomorrow may bring.
We fear the weirdo or the madman, not because of their (maybe) inhuman strength, nor for their (possible) penchant for eating people's faces - but simply because we cannot know with any degree of certainty what they will do next, or how they will react to what we do, however innocuous in our eyes. Will he shake my hand or break it..? So we freeze, or shoot, or run.
How would my wife love me if I awoke a new person every day..? How would my child dare aproach me if he could not be sure whether my proximity would bring a hug or a blow..? Would my neighbor loan me his mower if he couldn't be reasonably sure I'd give it back and not sell it, or scrap it, or wrap it round his head..?
The irony is then, much of this 'I' we set such store by, and go to such lengths to preserve, is not even for ourselves.
My 'I' is not for me, it is for you, it's always been for you.
5 comments:
true that.
'specially 'bout the monster being feared b/c it it the unpredictable. (although aren't we certain about the harm that the beast intends? Isn't that what the film/book/myth hinges on--that Grendel will always be after our blood?)
But what I really want to ask--and I promise this is a genuine question-- are we ever doing it just for ourselves? If I am consistent for my partner, or child or neighbor, isn't is about what they do for me? We don't present that consistent form for charitable reasons, but b/c being part of community, knowing that we *need* them?
Sweet post. The last sentence really says it all.
This reminds me of some stories I've read where people take drugs, have strokes, etc. and reach a mental state where the ego boundary becomes blurred. These people no longer feel like separate selves, like 'I's. I think these phenomena support your assumption that the 'I' is a construct which functions in the mind for a purpose. That and the overall paradigm of evolution, I suppose.
are we ever doing it just for ourselves? If I am consistent for my partner, or child or neighbor, isn't is about what they do for me?
Sure, but I think it's a two-way gig within the very close spheres of contact. In a family situation, we co-evolve personality wise - say husband and wife - but despite the 'progressive' changes, stay relatively the same with regard to
altruistic/selfish ratios. We run in place, or fall, and fall out of love.
Of course the consistant 'I' is for our benefit, a 'selfish' tool. When I say the 'I' is for the 'other' I mean it in the way we say "the hammer is for the nail" which, though a truism, disregards the hand which holds the haft, and the real intent behind it.
long time no posts. I've got you on my favorites and I'm pining for more. Please...more.
Sorry Strangeloop, holidays, kids and book-writing have been interfering with blog-life.
As soon as I think of something clever I'll be posting once-more.
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